“I guess I already know a lot about Jesus. Why do I have to meet up with you to talk about Him?”
You must be thinking that there is a sense of arrogance or a prideful attitude coating the thought unspoken. Yes you’re right. It was me. A university student approached me to ask if I would like to spare time to know more about Jesus. Well, I was taught to be respectful in every way, so I responded, “Yes, why not.” BUT still, I wasn’t totally convinced to add additional time on my Sunday. Just so you know, Jesus is the God of the Christians. He took our sins by dying on the cross to save humanity from our filthy deeds and thoughts because we are drowning so helplessly. Imagine, you’re drowning in the Pacific Ocean because you didn’t know how to swim, could you save yourself? Well, honestly, I can’t. I don’t know how to swim and even if I did, I would soon get exhausted and left dead. I need someone so badly to draw me out because no matter how hard I try it is impossible. Not to mention, He rose after three day to prove that there is hope for you and for me; only if we acknowledge our need of a Savior.
I was then so different. I was so insecure of myself. Do you know what I mean? I was in constant battles and always defeated because of comparing myself with others. If they talk better, score higher, look prettier… name it I felt so intimidated. It made me shy away from people, because I focused on my limitations. What’s more when they belong to a better family, I was so envious. So there, this STRANGER didn’t exactly know whom she’s talking to. She started to go to my school, a 20 to 30-minute ride from her university. I wasn’t feeling good about this, she would spend her allowance to treat me to lunch that I didn’t ask for. She would do this as she shared about the faith she believes in. I started to open up. Mind you, I was a person who would choose to keep things on my own, so to let someone listen to my stories and cry on someone’s shoulder. It was a miracle.
The sharing went on and on and on. Honestly, I would love to listen to her, and appreciate her loving and caring gestures, but then not all the sharing made sense to me. One time, I was lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I asked myself, why would she make time for me? She’s a student and she must have piles of assignments to do. Why would she spend on me? She’s a working student. I felt bad that she’s sharing a fraction of her allowance with me. Why would she listen to my crazy stories? What’s the problem with her? Additionally, we are not blood related at all. At that moment,I felt so loved by the Jesus she had been talking about. I noticed changes in my character as she made time to share to me the truth in the Bible. As time went by, there was like a birth of joy, peace, and content in me. I started to celebrate others’ success, telling them, “That was amazing of you.” ; see something unique about them and appreciate them.It was again a miracle. Who would ever think that I would do that? Not even myself.
It has taken a while for me to make sense of the truth spoken and gestures shown. At that time, I prayed to Jesus in the most sincere way for the first in my life. I told Him, “If investing in someone’s life makes his or her life worth living is what it meant to be a follower of Jesus, then I would love to be one.” My arrogance and prideful attitude were changed to humility. I am learning and growing. Surely it not easy, but worth it . I am work in progress, so is my faith.